Last night I watched an old (ca. 1984) documentary on Clive Barker, an artist that had a big influence on me during late secondary school & higher education. In a way his art helped me to go through these peculiar and often difficult times. I am not any more attracted to his work & visions, with its many dark elements that used to fascinate me, but disturb and slightly put me off now. Why is this? Perhaps it's the case of projection not taking place any more, perhaps it's the question of innocence, I don't know. Anyway, I feel indebted to Mr.Barker. His books & movies shook me up and prepared for what followed later. At that time I found a lot of what he has described as a true picture of our human condition, our potentials, possibility of transformation & transcendence. Well, I guess I still partly do. They spoke very loudly to me, that there's more to life than what we see on its surface, they also made me yearn for something I couldn't quite describe. CB says it's the imagination that unlocks the door, the door to another world, which is not somewhere out there, like some people are inclined to think, but here and now. I can't subscribe to the 'imagination part' of this point of view, but perhaps it's the way that works for some? What do i really know about such things?... And how it will be like for me in 10 years? It's all open. Hmm, some things shape us, they are good at specific moment in our lives, but then things move on, we let them go, or they let go of us, and we recognize that we need somethings else to nourish and teach us. I was fortunate to find something good that works for me, but that's another story.
At the window:
"I am a man, and men are animals who tell stories. This is a gift from God, who spoke our species into being, but left the end of our story untold. That mystery is troubling to us. How could it be otherwise? Without the final part, we think, how are we to make sense of all that went before: which is to say, our lives?
So we make stories of our own, in fevered and envious imitation of our Maker, hoping that we'll tell, by chance, what God left untold. And finishing our tale, come to understand why we were born."
Clive Barker, prologue to
Sacrament.
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This morning I wake up in a strange state, perhaps something has been stirred in me, plus I'm bit sick, feel unwell in the body.
I do the morning exercise then attend to emails and such. JOTD.
Then go out for coffee with Chris in the Finsbury Park. It's raining. We catch up and talk. Make a call to meet with guitars next week to see where we are!
Then lunch at home, shopping...
One local school responded to my school placement request and we arrange to meet tomorrow. It's quite likely I'll undertake my placement there, which would be fantastic.
A lot is going on, finally, the heat goes up!
There's a lot of movement, I sit with the instrument & practice which is a good way of dealing with the situation.
And in the evening: emails.
More practice, online commitments.
