My current GC commitment ends today. I acknowledge it with the Sitting in the early evening - recapitulate the past 40 weeks and let go.
Certainly a lot happened!
I might be posting some odd notes on this website here and then, but it's time for a break from daily postings.
Sunday, 24 May 2009
23rd May 2009
Sleep-in today.
After the morning exercise and breakfast I sit down and read through the remaining JOTD reports and jot down few points that came up from these.
Then go out shopping, and on my way to LIDL join Colin in the Finsbury Park. Carol, Paweł and Michelle come bit later. It's a really nice day in the park - bit windy at some points. Just before 4 they move to the pub and I head off to the shop.
At home: play guitar & hang around for a while. In the evening others (w/o C) come back and we have dinner together. I use the opportunity and play the new piece for the the visitor. Perhaps it's bit soon before recording it tonight, but I need to get more confidence with it so just give it a shot. A good & informative move.
Colin makes curry again, not that I'm complaining, he definitely is a curry man though. Good to sit with other people at the table and eat together, we have a good laugh.
After doing the dishes, P sets up the recording gear and I record Water (3 takes).
Paweł:
Now the question is how to convert the Cubase file into mp3/wav. For now we are unable to do it on Paweł's PC.
Emails and other stuff, late night for me.
Post this at 1.15 am.
After the morning exercise and breakfast I sit down and read through the remaining JOTD reports and jot down few points that came up from these.
Then go out shopping, and on my way to LIDL join Colin in the Finsbury Park. Carol, Paweł and Michelle come bit later. It's a really nice day in the park - bit windy at some points. Just before 4 they move to the pub and I head off to the shop.
At home: play guitar & hang around for a while. In the evening others (w/o C) come back and we have dinner together. I use the opportunity and play the new piece for the the visitor. Perhaps it's bit soon before recording it tonight, but I need to get more confidence with it so just give it a shot. A good & informative move.
Colin makes curry again, not that I'm complaining, he definitely is a curry man though. Good to sit with other people at the table and eat together, we have a good laugh.
After doing the dishes, P sets up the recording gear and I record Water (3 takes).
Paweł:
Now the question is how to convert the Cubase file into mp3/wav. For now we are unable to do it on Paweł's PC.
Emails and other stuff, late night for me.
Post this at 1.15 am.
Friday, 22 May 2009
22nd May 2009
The fifth day at the school & the best so far.
Every Friday the briefing in the staff room begins with Hymn singing here. I don't know this particular one (well, don't know most of the English hymns really) but grab the book with lyrics and join in. Great way to mark beginning of the day, spirit uplifting.
During this briefing I'm also briefly introduced to the other teachers, a small gesture, but makes a big difference to me, no longer anonymous!
During break I check my alternative email box and there's an answer from one of the schools I applied to for the school placement. On the day when I was sending these requests out I had to use that other account, as my default one wouldn't cope with attachments, for some reason. This email is the positive response from the Ealing Benedictine School, sent to me one week ago, just after i accepted the school i'm in at the moment. What an irony - if I could chose any school I would choose St.Benedict's, but there you go, instead I'm in the place I dreaded and didn't want to go to at all. Why haven't I checked it earlier, what's going on here? I have the sense it may be too late to undo what has been already done and if it wasn't, not sure if I can afford dealing with the repercussions of this.
Ah, how silly.
Even the local cat waited for me after the school to personally tell me how silly it was:
The Local Cat: I think it was really silly.
Jacek: Tell me about it.
At home: Colin cooks and shares dinner with me. After this I complete the Division of Attention Project before the week break, also read more JotD reports and play the guitar.
It's 23.09 o'clock. There's a pint of Carlsberg from Colin chilling in the fridge for me. Time to relax & let go of the week.
Two full days are ahead...
Every Friday the briefing in the staff room begins with Hymn singing here. I don't know this particular one (well, don't know most of the English hymns really) but grab the book with lyrics and join in. Great way to mark beginning of the day, spirit uplifting.
During this briefing I'm also briefly introduced to the other teachers, a small gesture, but makes a big difference to me, no longer anonymous!
During break I check my alternative email box and there's an answer from one of the schools I applied to for the school placement. On the day when I was sending these requests out I had to use that other account, as my default one wouldn't cope with attachments, for some reason. This email is the positive response from the Ealing Benedictine School, sent to me one week ago, just after i accepted the school i'm in at the moment. What an irony - if I could chose any school I would choose St.Benedict's, but there you go, instead I'm in the place I dreaded and didn't want to go to at all. Why haven't I checked it earlier, what's going on here? I have the sense it may be too late to undo what has been already done and if it wasn't, not sure if I can afford dealing with the repercussions of this.
Ah, how silly.
Even the local cat waited for me after the school to personally tell me how silly it was:
The Local Cat: I think it was really silly.
Jacek: Tell me about it.
At home: Colin cooks and shares dinner with me. After this I complete the Division of Attention Project before the week break, also read more JotD reports and play the guitar.
It's 23.09 o'clock. There's a pint of Carlsberg from Colin chilling in the fridge for me. Time to relax & let go of the week.
Two full days are ahead...
Thursday, 21 May 2009
21th May
Today was a good day at the school. An early bed last night helped and I got up early this morning feeling much better, then on any of the previous mornings. Exercises.
In the last 2 hours at the school I'm already very tired, my brain doesn't want to accept more information this week! But the next week is half-term, which is good.
Go back home, eat, and lie-down to relax. I fall asleep, and get up bit confused in the early evening, no surprise. JotD, then I go to the bakery, get dinner, clean the kitchen and practice.
Post this at 22.23, to bed very soon.
In the last 2 hours at the school I'm already very tired, my brain doesn't want to accept more information this week! But the next week is half-term, which is good.
Go back home, eat, and lie-down to relax. I fall asleep, and get up bit confused in the early evening, no surprise. JotD, then I go to the bakery, get dinner, clean the kitchen and practice.
Post this at 22.23, to bed very soon.
Wednesday, 20 May 2009
20th May 2009
Third day at the school today. So far the experience has been draining for me, although others probably couldn't tell, and think I'm doing fine. Well, sure, in a way I'm doing 'fine' which in that schools must be concluded from the fact that I haven't run away from it yet. It's just the first week, so I got the information overload, I'm getting used to being in such a demanding environment. Informative three days with many point to address.
Home. Eat, some practice, few emails, bath.
Early night for me. It's only 21.53 and the bed is calling me. I'm going to have a long AT lie-down first though.
Home. Eat, some practice, few emails, bath.
Early night for me. It's only 21.53 and the bed is calling me. I'm going to have a long AT lie-down first though.
19th May
A second day at the school in the morning & the afternoon. Some challenging situations on the way but a positive experience on the whole.
And in the evening we have visitors for dinner - C is cooking, at the table: C, H, M, C, P & J.
Posting at the end of a very long day again, so won't be going into details.
JotD, journal, bed.
And in the evening we have visitors for dinner - C is cooking, at the table: C, H, M, C, P & J.
Posting at the end of a very long day again, so won't be going into details.
JotD, journal, bed.
Monday, 18 May 2009
Intensive day
What a day, it's 23.21 and I've only just stopped.
Spend the first half of the day at the school - first day of the placement. Good day, feel positively tired & overloaded with information.
Completed the first half of the day, shower, meal and and a little siesta.
Then into continuous action: JotD, toilet cleaning, email session and applying for job online. It's only one job, but it takes ages.
I find myself irritated with having to do this. How do i know it? My tensed & moving muscles around the mouth are good indication of this, for one thing.
It's late, and tomorrow is early morning, so I call it a day.
Spend the first half of the day at the school - first day of the placement. Good day, feel positively tired & overloaded with information.
Completed the first half of the day, shower, meal and and a little siesta.
Then into continuous action: JotD, toilet cleaning, email session and applying for job online. It's only one job, but it takes ages.
I find myself irritated with having to do this. How do i know it? My tensed & moving muscles around the mouth are good indication of this, for one thing.
It's late, and tomorrow is early morning, so I call it a day.
Sunday, 17 May 2009
Sunday
It's been a tiring day.
I haven't done what I planned to do, but accomplished other useful things that came up.
And we had some light rain here, on & off.
In the evening we had guests for dinner. Colin's friend and he sister, both teachers. I cooked, they brought dessert. Nice evening.
My brain is fried. I don't have nothing to say, really, so will say no more and will go to bed as tomorrow is going to be quite a day at the school.
Goodnight.
I haven't done what I planned to do, but accomplished other useful things that came up.
And we had some light rain here, on & off.
In the evening we had guests for dinner. Colin's friend and he sister, both teachers. I cooked, they brought dessert. Nice evening.
My brain is fried. I don't have nothing to say, really, so will say no more and will go to bed as tomorrow is going to be quite a day at the school.
Goodnight.
Saturday, 16 May 2009
Saturday off
Camden Town:
A fox in the city:
The last week of my current GC commitment (including these 'daily notes') is ahead.
A fox in the city:
The last week of my current GC commitment (including these 'daily notes') is ahead.
Friday, 15 May 2009
Move on ...
I went for a run in the morning again. My muscles were already achy at that point, so more effort really nailed it. Changes are taking place.
And the answer about the placement arrived from the school that positively responded to my request few weeks ago. It's still available. Not an ideal option, but since it's the only available one, I'm not going to be fussy about it.
And the answer about the placement arrived from the school that positively responded to my request few weeks ago. It's still available. Not an ideal option, but since it's the only available one, I'm not going to be fussy about it.
Thursday, 14 May 2009
Yesterday & today
The internet didn't work last night, so I couldn't post. The main thing about yesterday was that I got fed up with looking for the placement. Dealing with schools requires patience that was not available today for me. Not acknowledging emails or phone calls being the most irritating feature of how the schools operate. However, I cannot do anything about those schools, nor one school, nor one individual person... But at least I can address my personal state - this is possible, and I do.
So how one responses to negative emotion? I found that conventional education doesn't teach how to deal with this, in fact it doesn't show us how to notice we are negative, to begin with. And it seems such an essential life skill...
So there we go, that's what it is. In the evening I spontaneously go out running for few minutes, to get physically tired, and go to sleep...
* * * * *
And today:
Wake up at 6:00, go running for 5 minutes, enough for me. Then shower, a cup of lemon & honey drink and Extended AAD Sitting Exercise.
After breakfast do some ironing, and get ready to visit one school soon...
8.53
...
I visit the maths department and two classes in that school, a useful experience this. Walk back home, and almost immediately off to meet Kofi at the Kings Cross station. He brings the printer for me, a gift that is going to be very useful. He also has some provision of food from my sister - as usual It's her initiative, and as always I'm very happy about it. Chat with K for a while.
At home: Ania's carbonara for lunch, mmm.
Then few emails, including one that may give me one option of moving on with the placement - not ideal, but it may be the only one available at the moment, so I do it.
15:00 - the JOTD.
Tidy up, then have coffee with Pawel.
Then leave to JGB Group meeting. I got confused with times, and as I found later came too early. So I'm there before 5, but the person at the door says the meeting is at 6, so I leave it 6.15 ... in fact it's at 7.
So I don't attend the meeting, go back early and have dinner with Pawel. A's humous goes well with garlic bread!...
Then Emails, guitar, stuff...
It's 23:41
And the picture from the park in Central London I hanged around today:
Is it going to save the readers from being bored to death after reading this post?
So how one responses to negative emotion? I found that conventional education doesn't teach how to deal with this, in fact it doesn't show us how to notice we are negative, to begin with. And it seems such an essential life skill...
So there we go, that's what it is. In the evening I spontaneously go out running for few minutes, to get physically tired, and go to sleep...
* * * * *
And today:
Wake up at 6:00, go running for 5 minutes, enough for me. Then shower, a cup of lemon & honey drink and Extended AAD Sitting Exercise.
After breakfast do some ironing, and get ready to visit one school soon...
8.53
...
I visit the maths department and two classes in that school, a useful experience this. Walk back home, and almost immediately off to meet Kofi at the Kings Cross station. He brings the printer for me, a gift that is going to be very useful. He also has some provision of food from my sister - as usual It's her initiative, and as always I'm very happy about it. Chat with K for a while.
At home: Ania's carbonara for lunch, mmm.
Then few emails, including one that may give me one option of moving on with the placement - not ideal, but it may be the only one available at the moment, so I do it.
15:00 - the JOTD.
Tidy up, then have coffee with Pawel.
Then leave to JGB Group meeting. I got confused with times, and as I found later came too early. So I'm there before 5, but the person at the door says the meeting is at 6, so I leave it 6.15 ... in fact it's at 7.
So I don't attend the meeting, go back early and have dinner with Pawel. A's humous goes well with garlic bread!...
Then Emails, guitar, stuff...
It's 23:41
And the picture from the park in Central London I hanged around today:
Is it going to save the readers from being bored to death after reading this post?
Tuesday, 12 May 2009
Study
Up at 8.45, ah.
Sitting exercise & breakfast.
Phonecalls to schools. During one call I run out of credit and get upset, at least I don't get upset about getting upset. Go out, top up the mobile phone and resume the calls...
Then read through some course materials. Well, the amount of it is overwhelming, but I have to begin somewhere, so just pick up the first file and take it from there... After coffee with Paweł I carry on with more study. I find a lot of education related words meaningless, so sometimes it's difficult to relate what I am reading about. Some individual pieces makes sense, but they don't fall into meaningful whole with other information for me. How does it all together? Still looking for connections... and I guess I will simply have to wait for the experience of English schools & system. Still, I'm positive about it, it's the question of time, experience & some effort on my part. For now I decided to pick up the key words as they fly by and get a good sense of these.
After lunch with Pawel (Thanks to my Sister again!) I attend to the JOTD exercise, then come back to reading: National Curriculum. It makes more sense now, when reading it for the second time.
Practice division of attention & guitar, then go out for a walk. In the meantime talk with my sister in Leeds.
More guitar, then dinner, after which I deal with emails, get a lot done. The new strategy is to send out only urgent messages during the day, and deal with the rest in one go at the end of the day. But what is urgent?
Sitting, guitar, online commitments.
A good day!
Sitting exercise & breakfast.
Phonecalls to schools. During one call I run out of credit and get upset, at least I don't get upset about getting upset. Go out, top up the mobile phone and resume the calls...
Then read through some course materials. Well, the amount of it is overwhelming, but I have to begin somewhere, so just pick up the first file and take it from there... After coffee with Paweł I carry on with more study. I find a lot of education related words meaningless, so sometimes it's difficult to relate what I am reading about. Some individual pieces makes sense, but they don't fall into meaningful whole with other information for me. How does it all together? Still looking for connections... and I guess I will simply have to wait for the experience of English schools & system. Still, I'm positive about it, it's the question of time, experience & some effort on my part. For now I decided to pick up the key words as they fly by and get a good sense of these.
After lunch with Pawel (Thanks to my Sister again!) I attend to the JOTD exercise, then come back to reading: National Curriculum. It makes more sense now, when reading it for the second time.
Practice division of attention & guitar, then go out for a walk. In the meantime talk with my sister in Leeds.
More guitar, then dinner, after which I deal with emails, get a lot done. The new strategy is to send out only urgent messages during the day, and deal with the rest in one go at the end of the day. But what is urgent?
Sitting, guitar, online commitments.
A good day!
Monday, 11 May 2009
Rise at 6:30. I have a cup of warm water with lemon & honey, shower, then Morning Exercise.
After breakfast leave to High Barnet for the training. I have to be fast, but don't have to rush. The tube is crowded at this time of the day, as usual.
On Friday I reconnected with one specific GC exercise and realized that nothing is lost with the intentional break. In fact, the relationship with it is now different. I found it very supportive & useful during 'return to teaching' course today.
Back with 5 fellow 'students' on the tube. The gathering quickly turns into complaint meeting. I decide not to engage in it and do nothing, so a peaceful travel to Haringey. Change at King Cross St. Pancrass and take Piccadilly line to Manor House.
Back home. Late lunch:
Fasolka po bretońsku from my Sister Ania & garlic bread.
...chill out...
... then keep myself busy until midnight: GC Practice and loads of emails & catching up... and some dinner, of course.
I've noticed the change in the tone and feel in tha apartment today.
Post this at 0:29
After breakfast leave to High Barnet for the training. I have to be fast, but don't have to rush. The tube is crowded at this time of the day, as usual.
On Friday I reconnected with one specific GC exercise and realized that nothing is lost with the intentional break. In fact, the relationship with it is now different. I found it very supportive & useful during 'return to teaching' course today.
Back with 5 fellow 'students' on the tube. The gathering quickly turns into complaint meeting. I decide not to engage in it and do nothing, so a peaceful travel to Haringey. Change at King Cross St. Pancrass and take Piccadilly line to Manor House.
Back home. Late lunch:
Fasolka po bretońsku from my Sister Ania & garlic bread.
...chill out...
... then keep myself busy until midnight: GC Practice and loads of emails & catching up... and some dinner, of course.
I've noticed the change in the tone and feel in tha apartment today.
Post this at 0:29
Sunday, 10 May 2009
Full day
A day full of activities with Marek, who is visiting over the weekend.
8:00 - Rise.
8:20 - Sitting Exercise.
Breakfast, Paweł joins in.
10:40 - Walk to Finsbury Park.
11:45 - 13:30 - Guitar Practice.
2nd Primary, 15 minutes break, 4th Primary -> 28 Bars
14.10 JOTD.
14:55 Lunch by Marek.
16:30 - 17:45 - Practice.
Division of Attention without Guitars, 4th Primary -> 28 Bars
17:55 - AT lie-down, then brief walk around the area.
19:00 - 19:55 - Practice.
1st Primary, Play
20:35 - Dinner, Colin joins in.
22:20 - Talk with Marcin in Tychy on the phone.
Organizing...
To sleep before midnight...
3:20 Marek takes the taxi and leaves to Poland...
8:00 - Rise.
8:20 - Sitting Exercise.
Breakfast, Paweł joins in.
10:40 - Walk to Finsbury Park.
11:45 - 13:30 - Guitar Practice.
2nd Primary, 15 minutes break, 4th Primary -> 28 Bars
14.10 JOTD.
14:55 Lunch by Marek.
16:30 - 17:45 - Practice.
Division of Attention without Guitars, 4th Primary -> 28 Bars
17:55 - AT lie-down, then brief walk around the area.
19:00 - 19:55 - Practice.
1st Primary, Play
20:35 - Dinner, Colin joins in.
22:20 - Talk with Marcin in Tychy on the phone.
Organizing...
To sleep before midnight...
3:20 Marek takes the taxi and leaves to Poland...
Saturday, 9 May 2009
Thursday, 7 May 2009
Briefly
I was relieved that the headache last night wasn't the first signal of sickness. Yes, I woke up feeling like s*%*, but gradually got better throughout the day.
And another application for job has been sent today, which is good. And the sky was very cloudy today. I have noticed it today, can't remember noticing anything external yesterday.
I also admitted to myself that yes, I'm stressed and anxious about not having the school placement yet, but this is nothing comparing to other people's real life concerns. Anyway, I'm usually pretty good in shutting up and not moaning about such things, so that's fine. The point is that I don't pretend things to be different from how they are, at least in this case. I may acknowledge some negative undercurrents going on without having to identify with them...
And today is Marcin's birthday. I call birthday boy and also send best wishes to Ilona, who is also celebrating her birthday in Tychy.
There are 3 of us now confirmed for Sunday guitar meeting: Chris, Marek and Jacek.
And another application for job has been sent today, which is good. And the sky was very cloudy today. I have noticed it today, can't remember noticing anything external yesterday.
I also admitted to myself that yes, I'm stressed and anxious about not having the school placement yet, but this is nothing comparing to other people's real life concerns. Anyway, I'm usually pretty good in shutting up and not moaning about such things, so that's fine. The point is that I don't pretend things to be different from how they are, at least in this case. I may acknowledge some negative undercurrents going on without having to identify with them...
And today is Marcin's birthday. I call birthday boy and also send best wishes to Ilona, who is also celebrating her birthday in Tychy.
There are 3 of us now confirmed for Sunday guitar meeting: Chris, Marek and Jacek.
Wednesday, 6 May 2009
Help is available
I didn't post last night as I couldn't really focus on writing anything intelligible. And here I am today, wondering what to write about. It's one thing to recap and reflect on the day at the end of it, and another to come back to it on the next day, as now. Wednesday 6th May 2009 is gone forever now, why come back to it then, when there's so much going on today already?
Help is available. I've experienced it last night and it continues to resonate away today.
Help is available. I've experienced it last night and it continues to resonate away today.
Tuesday, 5 May 2009
A peculiar day
Up! ... at 7 o'clock. As decided yesterday I intentionally refrain from the morning exercise this morning, having particular reason for this.
Head off to Barnet to visit one Secondary School. In short: it's a waste of time & money. I mean, i get what i asked for, a tour of the school, but i actually counted on being shown around by a real teacher, and not two young students. Yes: i had expectation which haven't been met - I am unhappy.
So back home. On my way back I receive some very sad Family news.
I call Barnet & Enfield Local Education Authorities and talk with advisors there. Both sources are very keen to help, and one of them for example proposes to get in touch with the heads of maths in all local schools on my behalf. It could be very useful indeed.
After some phone & internet action I get some food for lunch.
JOTD.
Then I talk with my sister on the phone.
Chris comes over. I introduce him to my flat mates, we have coffee and then work on guitars (17:25-18:50). We ponder the possibility of fixing one day of the week for the meetings, but we'll have to see if it's possible at all with the moving schedules.
... and M will be here with guitar on Sunday, so more guitar work is ahead ...
Colin made some nice dinner and he shares it with me.
I'm very tired and feel heavy in the evening. This heaviness is actually a mixture of several things: body tensions, recurring thoughts, worry... I have an AT lie-down that helps, and then with some supply of fresh energy I deal with some emails, practice DoA, have a good talk with Pawel too.
It's getting late, a quiet evening.
Life is often desperate, but never hopeless. (GC Aphorism)
Head off to Barnet to visit one Secondary School. In short: it's a waste of time & money. I mean, i get what i asked for, a tour of the school, but i actually counted on being shown around by a real teacher, and not two young students. Yes: i had expectation which haven't been met - I am unhappy.
So back home. On my way back I receive some very sad Family news.
I call Barnet & Enfield Local Education Authorities and talk with advisors there. Both sources are very keen to help, and one of them for example proposes to get in touch with the heads of maths in all local schools on my behalf. It could be very useful indeed.
After some phone & internet action I get some food for lunch.
JOTD.
Then I talk with my sister on the phone.
Chris comes over. I introduce him to my flat mates, we have coffee and then work on guitars (17:25-18:50). We ponder the possibility of fixing one day of the week for the meetings, but we'll have to see if it's possible at all with the moving schedules.
... and M will be here with guitar on Sunday, so more guitar work is ahead ...
Colin made some nice dinner and he shares it with me.
I'm very tired and feel heavy in the evening. This heaviness is actually a mixture of several things: body tensions, recurring thoughts, worry... I have an AT lie-down that helps, and then with some supply of fresh energy I deal with some emails, practice DoA, have a good talk with Pawel too.
It's getting late, a quiet evening.
Life is often desperate, but never hopeless. (GC Aphorism)
Monday, 4 May 2009
A moment...
Heavy dreaming in the morning, up late... The morning is pretty dispersed and I don't get much done.
One thing worth mentioning though is a collection of poems by Wisława Szymborska I got from my flat mate. She wanted to give it away... I notice the book on the table, open the first page and read the first poem "Chwila". I could never really relate to poetry, but it's not the case with W.Szymborska's sensibility.
JotD.
In the afternoon I meet a collegue who helped me with some practicalities here. I invite her for coffee as a little thank you, and she shows me around the Muswell Hill area. I.e. Alexandra Park. Then she invites me to the pub for cider. A beer on the Monday afternoon?! Well, I'm just a weak man without the will, so obviously say 'yes' to this.
After dinner I find myself thinking too much, as during all the day today, a typical result of sleeping too long. I take a bath and then a cold shower that usually helps to go back on earth. Yep, it does the trick today as well.
A transition moment for me is a beginning of guitar practice though. A moment of sincere gratitude can have a transformative effect indeed.
There are 3 weeks before the end of my current commitment.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
CHWILA
Idę stokiem pagórka zazielenionego.
Trawa, kwiatuszki w trawie
jak na obrazku dla dzieci.
Niebo zamglone, już błękitniejące.
Widok na inne wzgórza rozlega się w ciszy.
Jakby tutaj nie było żadnych kambrów, sylurów,
skał warczących na siebie,
wypiętrzonych otchłani,
żadnych nocy w płomieniach
i dni w kłębach ciemności.
Jakby nie przesuwały się tędy niziny
w gorączkowych malignach,
lodowatych dreszczach.
Jakby tylko gdzie indziej burzyły się morza
i rozrywały brzegi horyzontów.
Jest dziewiąta trzydzieści czasu lokalnego.
Wszystko na swoim miejscu i w układnej zgodzie.
W dolince potok mały jako potok mały.
Ścieżka w postaci ścieżki od zawsze do zawsze.
Las pod pozorem lasu na wieki wieków i amen,
a w górze ptaki w locie w roli ptaków w locie.
Jak okiem sięgnąć, panuje tu chwila.
Jedna z tych ziemskich chwil
proszonych, żeby trwały.
* * * * * * *
A MOMENT
I'm walking on the slope of a hill newly green.
Grass, small flowers in the grass,
just as in a children's book.
Hazy sky, already turning blue.
A view of other hills spreads out in silence.
As if there had been no Cambrians or Siluries here,
rocks growling at one another,
upthrust abysses,
no fiery nights
nor days in clouds of darkness.
As if no plains had moved through here
in feverish delirium,
in icy shivers.
As if only elsewhere had the seas been churning,
tearing apart the edges of the horizon.
It is nine-thirty local time.
Everything is in its place and in genial accord.
In the valley, the small stream as a small stream.
The path as a path from always to ever.
Woods in the guise of woods world without end amen,
and on high, birds in flight as birds in flight.
As far as the eye can see a moment reigns here.
One of those earthly moments
implored to linger.
Wisława Szymborska
One thing worth mentioning though is a collection of poems by Wisława Szymborska I got from my flat mate. She wanted to give it away... I notice the book on the table, open the first page and read the first poem "Chwila". I could never really relate to poetry, but it's not the case with W.Szymborska's sensibility.
JotD.
In the afternoon I meet a collegue who helped me with some practicalities here. I invite her for coffee as a little thank you, and she shows me around the Muswell Hill area. I.e. Alexandra Park. Then she invites me to the pub for cider. A beer on the Monday afternoon?! Well, I'm just a weak man without the will, so obviously say 'yes' to this.
After dinner I find myself thinking too much, as during all the day today, a typical result of sleeping too long. I take a bath and then a cold shower that usually helps to go back on earth. Yep, it does the trick today as well.
A transition moment for me is a beginning of guitar practice though. A moment of sincere gratitude can have a transformative effect indeed.
There are 3 weeks before the end of my current commitment.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
CHWILA
Idę stokiem pagórka zazielenionego.
Trawa, kwiatuszki w trawie
jak na obrazku dla dzieci.
Niebo zamglone, już błękitniejące.
Widok na inne wzgórza rozlega się w ciszy.
Jakby tutaj nie było żadnych kambrów, sylurów,
skał warczących na siebie,
wypiętrzonych otchłani,
żadnych nocy w płomieniach
i dni w kłębach ciemności.
Jakby nie przesuwały się tędy niziny
w gorączkowych malignach,
lodowatych dreszczach.
Jakby tylko gdzie indziej burzyły się morza
i rozrywały brzegi horyzontów.
Jest dziewiąta trzydzieści czasu lokalnego.
Wszystko na swoim miejscu i w układnej zgodzie.
W dolince potok mały jako potok mały.
Ścieżka w postaci ścieżki od zawsze do zawsze.
Las pod pozorem lasu na wieki wieków i amen,
a w górze ptaki w locie w roli ptaków w locie.
Jak okiem sięgnąć, panuje tu chwila.
Jedna z tych ziemskich chwil
proszonych, żeby trwały.
* * * * * * *
A MOMENT
I'm walking on the slope of a hill newly green.
Grass, small flowers in the grass,
just as in a children's book.
Hazy sky, already turning blue.
A view of other hills spreads out in silence.
As if there had been no Cambrians or Siluries here,
rocks growling at one another,
upthrust abysses,
no fiery nights
nor days in clouds of darkness.
As if no plains had moved through here
in feverish delirium,
in icy shivers.
As if only elsewhere had the seas been churning,
tearing apart the edges of the horizon.
It is nine-thirty local time.
Everything is in its place and in genial accord.
In the valley, the small stream as a small stream.
The path as a path from always to ever.
Woods in the guise of woods world without end amen,
and on high, birds in flight as birds in flight.
As far as the eye can see a moment reigns here.
One of those earthly moments
implored to linger.
Wisława Szymborska
Sunday, 3 May 2009
Old pics
My sister sent me some old mobile camera pictures tonight. These must have been taken in the Spring 2006, when there were 3 of us living at the Cheltenham Mt apartment (Harrogate): my sister Ania, Marek & Jacek.
I personally have very good memories of that period.
I personally have very good memories of that period.
Saturday, the week is nearly over...
News reached me that one of my Polish work collegues in Harrogate doesn't speak well of me. Pumping his resentment, negativity & imagination into the space shared by my close ones. During the morning exercise this morning I noticed my reaction to this, firstly it was irritation & anger, moving to letting it go & acceptance. I forgive and send that person best wishes.
It is possible to be positive & non-judgmental. And the day continues with the Cleaning theme, in different ways.
I call glazier to ask how much cutting the glass shelf to the size would cost. The first says: about 90 pounds', the second one: "6 quid". There we go then!
And P asked me a good question today. What has GC training changed in me? I gave one short, specific and practical example.
It is ongoing process...
In the evening I drink Guinness to end a good week and then go to see the movie in the Holloway cinema. B&P work there and are entitled to certain number of free tickets. I choose In the loop, a British political comedy. It's fun, but I probably don't get all jokes, as am not so familiar with the mechanics of politics and with the British scene.
Late night
It is possible to be positive & non-judgmental. And the day continues with the Cleaning theme, in different ways.
I call glazier to ask how much cutting the glass shelf to the size would cost. The first says: about 90 pounds', the second one: "6 quid". There we go then!
And P asked me a good question today. What has GC training changed in me? I gave one short, specific and practical example.
It is ongoing process...
In the evening I drink Guinness to end a good week and then go to see the movie in the Holloway cinema. B&P work there and are entitled to certain number of free tickets. I choose In the loop, a British political comedy. It's fun, but I probably don't get all jokes, as am not so familiar with the mechanics of politics and with the British scene.
Late night
Friday, 1 May 2009
Evil pronouns
Get up with the alarm clock, as planned. A good opportunity was missed though, as I also woke up earlier, and my system had enough rest and was clearly ready to begin the day at that point. Having more sleep than needed makes me dozy.
After Sitting I leave to a local bakery, a superb place. A big variety of quality products are available there, and they're cheap too. Definitely the best bakery I've ever been to and it's only 5 minutes walk away. Someone told me it's very famous and has a good reputation in this area. The bread i get is still very warm, and we all try it in the apartment, it's a hit!
Coffee, and into action, get in touch with local schools. The two recent training days made the difference to me and I could observe it in how I deal with the school personnel on the phone today: I was confident, relaxed and expressed myself positively and clearly. I've been advised by my tutor to look for the job for September, as now is the period when schools are recruiting.
So I am trying to kill two birds with one stone.
A busy day. Afternoon & evening is more dispersed, although I do what intended to do (GCP)
I noticed a blackbird singing in the park today. Quite impressive and vast repertoire of sounds.
Also noticed that I had doubts about which pronouns to use while writing this post, one of the areas of my English to improve. Probably most East Europeans find it tricky, as the Slavonic languages don't distinguish between 'a/an', 'the' or 'no pronoun'.
Good night.
After Sitting I leave to a local bakery, a superb place. A big variety of quality products are available there, and they're cheap too. Definitely the best bakery I've ever been to and it's only 5 minutes walk away. Someone told me it's very famous and has a good reputation in this area. The bread i get is still very warm, and we all try it in the apartment, it's a hit!
Coffee, and into action, get in touch with local schools. The two recent training days made the difference to me and I could observe it in how I deal with the school personnel on the phone today: I was confident, relaxed and expressed myself positively and clearly. I've been advised by my tutor to look for the job for September, as now is the period when schools are recruiting.
So I am trying to kill two birds with one stone.
A busy day. Afternoon & evening is more dispersed, although I do what intended to do (GCP)
I noticed a blackbird singing in the park today. Quite impressive and vast repertoire of sounds.
Also noticed that I had doubts about which pronouns to use while writing this post, one of the areas of my English to improve. Probably most East Europeans find it tricky, as the Slavonic languages don't distinguish between 'a/an', 'the' or 'no pronoun'.
Good night.
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