Early rise in KB apartment, go home and keep on sleeping.
Today was a most wonderful day with my dad, he was in good spirits and we joked a lot.
In the early afternoon: chi kung & sitting.
In the evening: meet friends.
Late evening: guitar & Jotd.
Very tired today.
Friday, 31 October 2008
Thursday, 30 October 2008
30th October - shift
Early rise, chi kung and walk to my parents flat. My mother is just about to leave to work. She just recently received confirmation that she is now entitled to retire, at any time. It was her choice to keep working for a little longer, now at least having the comfort of being able to stop at any time.
For a long time I wanted to watch Straight Story, and this morning we watch it with father. For me it is actually 3rd or 4th tiime, so simple, yet I'm always touched, powerful story. Is it really from the same man who did Mulholland Drive and Lost Highway ?
Yesterday the dentist said that either the tooth will grow alright and cease to give pain, or the surgical removal will be needed. I remember browsing through an album while waiting for my appointment. It was about the history of the dentistry, depicted in paintings throughout the history. Although I appreciate the 21st century dentistry and the progress made over the centuries I still hope for the growth!
It's a day of peculiar weather, the sun is generous in offering it's warmth, but the wind is very strong today. In our flat on the 7th floor the wind is 'singing' in the window gaps, it sounds ghastly.
Chi Kung in the afternoon.
Somebody asked me about this blog recently, and why English. I actually write my personal journal in Polish, but this is a public one. In the recent months I realized how fixed my English is and how difficult it is to go beyond what I've learnt so far. Why ? I might have some challenge ahead that might be a good remedy for this anyway...
In the evening in the KB apartment: Jotd, guitar and two visits, first from Kamil second from Sławek, great. There are some news from Ania, she'll be coming home earlier than planned, good news. In terms of the process and related to this I noticed a swift shift into the last phase of my stay here.
Also today, reading the last chapter from Mr. Bennett's book.
Journal and now again to Chi Kung. It's 00.34
For a long time I wanted to watch Straight Story, and this morning we watch it with father. For me it is actually 3rd or 4th tiime, so simple, yet I'm always touched, powerful story. Is it really from the same man who did Mulholland Drive and Lost Highway ?
Yesterday the dentist said that either the tooth will grow alright and cease to give pain, or the surgical removal will be needed. I remember browsing through an album while waiting for my appointment. It was about the history of the dentistry, depicted in paintings throughout the history. Although I appreciate the 21st century dentistry and the progress made over the centuries I still hope for the growth!
It's a day of peculiar weather, the sun is generous in offering it's warmth, but the wind is very strong today. In our flat on the 7th floor the wind is 'singing' in the window gaps, it sounds ghastly.
Chi Kung in the afternoon.
Somebody asked me about this blog recently, and why English. I actually write my personal journal in Polish, but this is a public one. In the recent months I realized how fixed my English is and how difficult it is to go beyond what I've learnt so far. Why ? I might have some challenge ahead that might be a good remedy for this anyway...
In the evening in the KB apartment: Jotd, guitar and two visits, first from Kamil second from Sławek, great. There are some news from Ania, she'll be coming home earlier than planned, good news. In terms of the process and related to this I noticed a swift shift into the last phase of my stay here.
Also today, reading the last chapter from Mr. Bennett's book.
Journal and now again to Chi Kung. It's 00.34
Wednesday, 29 October 2008
29th October - quite a lot done
Chi kung in the morning. No sitting today, intentionally.
First entry in the personal journal for a long time today, the public one keeps going as usual, the input varies. Actually, I came across old notebooks just recently and today read some of the old entries. I had begun this adventure with keeping the journal about a week before my Introductory Course, actually, the public diaries posted on the GC website inspired me to do it. So what is on the first pages of it ? For example the last cigarette on the balcony with Piotrek (24/06/04). Hitchhiking to Paris to meet Marek and attend the concert there, then there's the Course, move to Ireland, it keeps going for a little while, and stops, only to begin again, later. What has happened in that past 52 months ?
Well, in the past two days I got toothache, and this is now. The dark scenario was - the root treatment! As it's something I'm used to and recognized the pain as such, but fortunately it only turned out to be the bottom left 8th tooth growing. The wisdom teeth, as they say. Well, that's what I call the painful growth, perhaps it's in the nature of things ?
The recent hit at our home is the recording of the local highlander's band from Szczyrk (In Beskid Śląski) My father is very fond of this music (and Highlander's culture, in general) and we play it often, well, every day. Actually here's a little example: http://www.ondraszki.eu/dyskografia/kolecka.mp3
And here's the picture taken in this area, on the trip with Lizzie, last June:
We both agree with my mum, that it was a good day. A lot has been done. I've successfully dealt with an evil bank and collected wheelchair for my dad. He felt so much better for it, but probably bit overestimated his capacities and exhausted himself with driving around. He'll need to go about it more gradually. There were also many visitors at home today, which was really good.
Too much meat in the past few weeks, so I went to get some veg from the grocery store and cooked late lunch. Long grain rice, with leek, mushroom, onion and garlic (sweet pepper spiced) and brocolli with white sauce. Actually, the sauce turned out well with the help of a magic little utensil. Obtaining smooth consistency was always tricky, until this very day of the kitchen revolution!
Ah, and also another great news is that Sławek, a very good friend of mine from the old primary school times is going to rent Ania's flat. A trustworthy and reliable person then, this will make life bit easier for my mother, who is dealing with it here, really.
Evening in the KB apartment: Jotd, internet stuff & guitar.
Journal and now to Chi Kung.
23.33
First entry in the personal journal for a long time today, the public one keeps going as usual, the input varies. Actually, I came across old notebooks just recently and today read some of the old entries. I had begun this adventure with keeping the journal about a week before my Introductory Course, actually, the public diaries posted on the GC website inspired me to do it. So what is on the first pages of it ? For example the last cigarette on the balcony with Piotrek (24/06/04). Hitchhiking to Paris to meet Marek and attend the concert there, then there's the Course, move to Ireland, it keeps going for a little while, and stops, only to begin again, later. What has happened in that past 52 months ?
Well, in the past two days I got toothache, and this is now. The dark scenario was - the root treatment! As it's something I'm used to and recognized the pain as such, but fortunately it only turned out to be the bottom left 8th tooth growing. The wisdom teeth, as they say. Well, that's what I call the painful growth, perhaps it's in the nature of things ?
The recent hit at our home is the recording of the local highlander's band from Szczyrk (In Beskid Śląski) My father is very fond of this music (and Highlander's culture, in general) and we play it often, well, every day. Actually here's a little example: http://www.ondraszki.eu/dyskografia/kolecka.mp3
And here's the picture taken in this area, on the trip with Lizzie, last June:
We both agree with my mum, that it was a good day. A lot has been done. I've successfully dealt with an evil bank and collected wheelchair for my dad. He felt so much better for it, but probably bit overestimated his capacities and exhausted himself with driving around. He'll need to go about it more gradually. There were also many visitors at home today, which was really good.
Too much meat in the past few weeks, so I went to get some veg from the grocery store and cooked late lunch. Long grain rice, with leek, mushroom, onion and garlic (sweet pepper spiced) and brocolli with white sauce. Actually, the sauce turned out well with the help of a magic little utensil. Obtaining smooth consistency was always tricky, until this very day of the kitchen revolution!
Ah, and also another great news is that Sławek, a very good friend of mine from the old primary school times is going to rent Ania's flat. A trustworthy and reliable person then, this will make life bit easier for my mother, who is dealing with it here, really.
Evening in the KB apartment: Jotd, internet stuff & guitar.
Journal and now to Chi Kung.
23.33
Tuesday, 28 October 2008
27th October - let it all go
Today this AAD LCG Autumn Project ends for me. I work with one specific exercise in attention/sensation until 16.00
Keyword for today: letting go.
Keyword for today: letting go.
26th October - keep going
Sitting at 8.37 (7.37)
Definitely day with a Sunday feel about it.
Morning and afternoon at home.
In the evening practice, study, also a good friend visits. We talk, I also play for her.
Key word for today: perseverance.
Definitely day with a Sunday feel about it.
Morning and afternoon at home.
In the evening practice, study, also a good friend visits. We talk, I also play for her.
Key word for today: perseverance.
Sunday, 26 October 2008
25th October - pierogi day
Wake up at 7.10, sit down in the chair, fall asleep and wake up again. Morning sitting at 8.13
I spend day at home with my family. My mother is off from work today.
Pierogi ruskie are for lunch today. The boys are waiting for their turn in the hot water pot:
They end up on the plate like this:
With some barszcz czerwony (borstch) to go with it:
Every Saturday could be like this - special thanks to my mother!
In the evening I meet with some friends/colleges. A meeting in a cheerful and gentle company...
One hour of guitar at 00.10 tonight - continue learning new J.S.Bach piece.
It's 1.24 am
Recurring themes today: the aim & the division of attention (evening)
I spend day at home with my family. My mother is off from work today.
Pierogi ruskie are for lunch today. The boys are waiting for their turn in the hot water pot:
They end up on the plate like this:
With some barszcz czerwony (borstch) to go with it:
Every Saturday could be like this - special thanks to my mother!
In the evening I meet with some friends/colleges. A meeting in a cheerful and gentle company...
One hour of guitar at 00.10 tonight - continue learning new J.S.Bach piece.
It's 1.24 am
Recurring themes today: the aim & the division of attention (evening)
Friday, 24 October 2008
24th October - sun sometimes hides
Rise in the KB flat at 6.30. At home at 7.10 when my mum is just about to leave to work. Sitting exercise at 7.30
I spend most of the day with my dad at home. A good day with it's own natural flow ...
It's cold outside, the sun after being up for about a week is covered by clouds again.
In the evening I stay in the other apartment with a short visit to the pub for a meeting with some secondary school friends, I just have the quick juice and off I go back to practice guitar.
And J gets in touch and shares his experiences from visiting the GC course (LCG dress rehearsal) in San Cugat.
Themes for me today: conserving the energy & dealing with negative emotions.
I spend most of the day with my dad at home. A good day with it's own natural flow ...
It's cold outside, the sun after being up for about a week is covered by clouds again.
In the evening I stay in the other apartment with a short visit to the pub for a meeting with some secondary school friends, I just have the quick juice and off I go back to practice guitar.
And J gets in touch and shares his experiences from visiting the GC course (LCG dress rehearsal) in San Cugat.
Themes for me today: conserving the energy & dealing with negative emotions.
Thursday, 23 October 2008
23rd October - something new
My feet land on the floor at 7.10 on this dark and rainy morning.
7.30 - morning exercise
Today after 4 weeks and 5 days my father came back home from the hospital. I went there early in the morning to collect his belongings then after sorting some things out with the doctor went back home to wait for the ambulance scheduled at 13.00 It must have been a hectic day for the team as it arrived 4 hours later.
So my dad is back home, very pleased with his progress. He'll need some support for a little while though.
And in the evening I go to KB flat. An evening of practice, one hour of guitar moves me to a different station, I needed it ... and the Team is on in San Cugat ...
Nice place, this apartment, it'll be my sleeping place from now on...
We see as much as we are prepared to see
7.30 - morning exercise
Today after 4 weeks and 5 days my father came back home from the hospital. I went there early in the morning to collect his belongings then after sorting some things out with the doctor went back home to wait for the ambulance scheduled at 13.00 It must have been a hectic day for the team as it arrived 4 hours later.
So my dad is back home, very pleased with his progress. He'll need some support for a little while though.
And in the evening I go to KB flat. An evening of practice, one hour of guitar moves me to a different station, I needed it ... and the Team is on in San Cugat ...
Nice place, this apartment, it'll be my sleeping place from now on...
We see as much as we are prepared to see
22nd October - positive manner
A day begins at 7.00
Yesterday I asked my mum to guess what is the most essential activity of the day for me - 'waking up', she said, which made me laugh. Yes, she knows my weaknesses. Anyway, it was close!...
7.30 - Morning exercise.
This morning the second part of the AAD LCG Autumn Project course begins for me. I acknowledge my aims for the next 5 days.
Yesterday in the evening I allowed my negativity to take over and this morning I'm still in the grip of it, although less than yesterday night. Here we are then and I take it from here.
When waiting for the bus there's a sudden shift and notice the absence of negativity, just like this, what happened ? A healing moment, I checked the watch - 10.05 am
It's a busy day of practicalities in this time of change. I do my best to deal in a positive manner with whatever comes my way.
At one Marek calls from Harrogate and we update on recent news. He's just back from the GC course.
JotD. Choose easily verifiable tasks this week.
In the evening I meet my old friend Łukasz, it's been a long time since we've met like this. We sit and talk until late... important issues, we share some experiences... and Ł still plays guitar! I play some pieces for him. Good reconnection...
Yesterday I asked my mum to guess what is the most essential activity of the day for me - 'waking up', she said, which made me laugh. Yes, she knows my weaknesses. Anyway, it was close!...
7.30 - Morning exercise.
This morning the second part of the AAD LCG Autumn Project course begins for me. I acknowledge my aims for the next 5 days.
Yesterday in the evening I allowed my negativity to take over and this morning I'm still in the grip of it, although less than yesterday night. Here we are then and I take it from here.
When waiting for the bus there's a sudden shift and notice the absence of negativity, just like this, what happened ? A healing moment, I checked the watch - 10.05 am
It's a busy day of practicalities in this time of change. I do my best to deal in a positive manner with whatever comes my way.
At one Marek calls from Harrogate and we update on recent news. He's just back from the GC course.
JotD. Choose easily verifiable tasks this week.
In the evening I meet my old friend Łukasz, it's been a long time since we've met like this. We sit and talk until late... important issues, we share some experiences... and Ł still plays guitar! I play some pieces for him. Good reconnection...
Wednesday, 22 October 2008
Monday, 20 October 2008
20th October - on the way
A busy day, supporting the process on it's way to an end.
The first part of this Autumn Project 2008 - AAD mode, completed for me at 21.07
May we have honesty and courage to see ourselves as we really are
The first part of this Autumn Project 2008 - AAD mode, completed for me at 21.07
May we have honesty and courage to see ourselves as we really are
Sunday, 19 October 2008
19th October - completion
There is no teacher like silence...
Hard to get going in the morning today - I oversleep and feel dozy. An energy is lost, so dealing with the conseques of this throughout the day.
But it was a good day, anyway. I spent most of it with my mother. We stayed at home, we went to the mass, and also in the evening attended performance of Maurice Durufle's Requiem for the mixed choir and organs. The performance took place in the Church of Mary Magdalene.
The evening was opened with organ improvisation. The performer was hidden up in the back of the church, also the choir. A relief! This anonymity of the performers seemed to open some space for the music to enter.
We enjoyed it and had very good laugh afterwards. Also discuss some important practicalities on the way back home for dinner.
....
And in the evening stay at KB (Konfederatów Barskich) flat.
Tonight, the Introduction to Guitar Craft course, part of Autumn Project in Spain completes (for me this AAD course will formally end tomorrow in the evening, together with the Kitchen Team)
Some Intro participants come from a very distant location, i.e. from Mexico or Russia - I imagine it must have been difficult for some of them to come over to Spain, but they made it!
Best wishes fly to the Intros (including an old friend from Poland!) and the rest of the team!
Very intense evening for me, it's hard to believe I was so low on energy in the morning...
And tonight, the participation seemed deeper, again, thanks to keeping in touch with Richard in Vienna, and being up-to-date with events in SC which allowed better coordination of work. Very useful. It feels as if a new field of work opened up ...
...
And a late meeting with my very old friend from Tychy is still ahead tonight.
... but to invite silence, we first have to able to be quiet.
Hard to get going in the morning today - I oversleep and feel dozy. An energy is lost, so dealing with the conseques of this throughout the day.
But it was a good day, anyway. I spent most of it with my mother. We stayed at home, we went to the mass, and also in the evening attended performance of Maurice Durufle's Requiem for the mixed choir and organs. The performance took place in the Church of Mary Magdalene.
The evening was opened with organ improvisation. The performer was hidden up in the back of the church, also the choir. A relief! This anonymity of the performers seemed to open some space for the music to enter.
We enjoyed it and had very good laugh afterwards. Also discuss some important practicalities on the way back home for dinner.
....
And in the evening stay at KB (Konfederatów Barskich) flat.
Tonight, the Introduction to Guitar Craft course, part of Autumn Project in Spain completes (for me this AAD course will formally end tomorrow in the evening, together with the Kitchen Team)
Some Intro participants come from a very distant location, i.e. from Mexico or Russia - I imagine it must have been difficult for some of them to come over to Spain, but they made it!
Best wishes fly to the Intros (including an old friend from Poland!) and the rest of the team!
Very intense evening for me, it's hard to believe I was so low on energy in the morning...
And tonight, the participation seemed deeper, again, thanks to keeping in touch with Richard in Vienna, and being up-to-date with events in SC which allowed better coordination of work. Very useful. It feels as if a new field of work opened up ...
...
And a late meeting with my very old friend from Tychy is still ahead tonight.
... but to invite silence, we first have to able to be quiet.
Saturday, 18 October 2008
18th October - the results
Good news: there's a way out of the middle and possibility of completing the cycle/process. The intention today is to work towards achieving this.
21.30 - Guitar meeting with Richard in Vienna. A part of at-a-distance participation in GC Autumn Project in San Cugat, Spain.
So good to have Ania's apartment available - a quiet place in the noisy world.
May the results of our work extend beyond the Circle: for our families, friends and neighbours.
21.30 - Guitar meeting with Richard in Vienna. A part of at-a-distance participation in GC Autumn Project in San Cugat, Spain.
So good to have Ania's apartment available - a quiet place in the noisy world.
May the results of our work extend beyond the Circle: for our families, friends and neighbours.
17th October - process
Still between the beginning and the end...
It's just part of the process, commented Siergiej:
Most of the day was spend with our family visiting from Opole, my father's sister Irena and her husband Janusz. He is the craftsman, coin maker (but probably there's a better word for it, in Polish it's mincerz). He uses both modern and traditional methods, there are not that many people who still do it here.
I use opportunity and play one piece for them, then step back and provide background music for conversation.
Guitar practice at 20.00
AAD exercise.
It's just part of the process, commented Siergiej:
Most of the day was spend with our family visiting from Opole, my father's sister Irena and her husband Janusz. He is the craftsman, coin maker (but probably there's a better word for it, in Polish it's mincerz). He uses both modern and traditional methods, there are not that many people who still do it here.
I use opportunity and play one piece for them, then step back and provide background music for conversation.
Guitar practice at 20.00
AAD exercise.
Friday, 17 October 2008
16th October - answers
It's Thursday, second day of the Intro Course.
6.40-7.10 - sitting with a special guest who came to experience her meditation practice in the morning, straight after this she has to leave to work...
And in the afternoon - entering the part of the process when things get difficult. A day dream zone!
Time with my mother in the evening. After playing guitar for her, suddenly an answer for 'what to do ?' presents itself. I inform her straightaway. Indeed, answers will come through guitar.
Some more notes/comments from the course work:
Day dreaming is very far from what is real.
Doing what is needed - am I willing and ready to pay the price ?
The body presence is reliable.
I am not my thoughts.
6.40-7.10 - sitting with a special guest who came to experience her meditation practice in the morning, straight after this she has to leave to work...
And in the afternoon - entering the part of the process when things get difficult. A day dream zone!
Time with my mother in the evening. After playing guitar for her, suddenly an answer for 'what to do ?' presents itself. I inform her straightaway. Indeed, answers will come through guitar.
Some more notes/comments from the course work:
Day dreaming is very far from what is real.
Doing what is needed - am I willing and ready to pay the price ?
The body presence is reliable.
I am not my thoughts.
Thursday, 16 October 2008
15th October - day one
A little glimpse into today:
Rise at 6.00.
Morning Practice at 6.30 (Ania's flat) The guest doesn't show up, opportunity missed ...
Receive early morning phone call from my cousin in Wrocław, always very welcomed. She is actually my eldest cousin, over 40 years old now, and one I only recently established relationship with. I thank her for calling - is her calm voice and inner peace going to set a good tone for the day?
I go back to Żwakowska flat for a light breakfast, then head off to Mikołow to book the place for my father in the rehabilitation centre. I have a very good sense about the ward, and the staff seems very nice too. I have to wait some time for the head of the ward, but no worries - I have How we do things with me to read.
Afterwards I visit my dad in the hospital, he is actually not in his best spirits today. Well, it's almost 4 weeks he already spent here, but good news is that he'll be going home in about a week time!
JotD.
Eat out today. I'm not that hungry, so ask the sales person what is the difference between a big and medium zapiekanka - 'the size' - she replies. Well, that's alright then.
Back in Konfederatów Barskich apartment. Drink some camomile, my head is going to explode, big headache. I have AT lie-down and allow myself to fall asleep for an hour, it helps a little. Another cup of tea and write an email.
Then I leave to meet my mum for a movie in the cinema: Women. I laugh and enjoy it, although not my cup of tea at all, hmmm, isn't it surprising ?
My friend got in touch re: our practice - it's good to hear from her!
Then head home, to Żwakowska flat, that is. My mum asked for one friend today, whether he still plays guitar - yes! actually, he is in Spain attending his first GC course right now! Coincidence?
My mum is getting ready for bed and I play for her quietly, attempting to create the welcoming space for sleep.
AT lie-down, writing, and one specific task I commited to. Good %10.
And some notes/comments related to today's experience/the course work:
Participation in the course at-a-distance requires attention throughout the day, but giving this attention doesn't separate from life as it may seem, it actually makes more full engagement with it possible.
If impressions are kind of food - then I know why I sometimes get indigestion.
What one needs often goes against what one wants or likes. Discrimination is required...
Discriminating between what is imaginary and what is real - how this becomes possible ?
I experienced a lot of kindness from people around, and also from some that are usually withdrawn and stern. This I believe is related to two things: the attitude I approached the day with & the ongoing process that is larger than what I do.
Rise at 6.00.
Morning Practice at 6.30 (Ania's flat) The guest doesn't show up, opportunity missed ...
Receive early morning phone call from my cousin in Wrocław, always very welcomed. She is actually my eldest cousin, over 40 years old now, and one I only recently established relationship with. I thank her for calling - is her calm voice and inner peace going to set a good tone for the day?
I go back to Żwakowska flat for a light breakfast, then head off to Mikołow to book the place for my father in the rehabilitation centre. I have a very good sense about the ward, and the staff seems very nice too. I have to wait some time for the head of the ward, but no worries - I have How we do things with me to read.
Afterwards I visit my dad in the hospital, he is actually not in his best spirits today. Well, it's almost 4 weeks he already spent here, but good news is that he'll be going home in about a week time!
JotD.
Eat out today. I'm not that hungry, so ask the sales person what is the difference between a big and medium zapiekanka - 'the size' - she replies. Well, that's alright then.
Back in Konfederatów Barskich apartment. Drink some camomile, my head is going to explode, big headache. I have AT lie-down and allow myself to fall asleep for an hour, it helps a little. Another cup of tea and write an email.
Then I leave to meet my mum for a movie in the cinema: Women. I laugh and enjoy it, although not my cup of tea at all, hmmm, isn't it surprising ?
My friend got in touch re: our practice - it's good to hear from her!
Then head home, to Żwakowska flat, that is. My mum asked for one friend today, whether he still plays guitar - yes! actually, he is in Spain attending his first GC course right now! Coincidence?
My mum is getting ready for bed and I play for her quietly, attempting to create the welcoming space for sleep.
AT lie-down, writing, and one specific task I commited to. Good %10.
And some notes/comments related to today's experience/the course work:
Participation in the course at-a-distance requires attention throughout the day, but giving this attention doesn't separate from life as it may seem, it actually makes more full engagement with it possible.
If impressions are kind of food - then I know why I sometimes get indigestion.
What one needs often goes against what one wants or likes. Discrimination is required...
Discriminating between what is imaginary and what is real - how this becomes possible ?
I experienced a lot of kindness from people around, and also from some that are usually withdrawn and stern. This I believe is related to two things: the attitude I approached the day with & the ongoing process that is larger than what I do.
Wednesday, 15 October 2008
14th October - a tool
Morning Sitting Exercise at 7.45
Guitar Practice - holding the instrument is already such a joy! I cherish my current relationship with guitar, definitely I've never enjoyed playing so much. But there is also more to this, and particularly this morning it is clear that it is also a tool to be worked with and one that really accelarates the process. Where would I be now without it ? So this morning I study how we do things with guitar.
The Churchbells at 21.00 (The Church of the Holy Spirit)
In the evening a family time, connecting with the Circle. Tonight the Introduction to Guitar Craft Course begins.
My course aim can be expressed as a GC Aphorism: Honor necessity
The inner state that comes from honoring the aim that is right is difficult to describe for me.
Several processes are underway.
Guitar Practice - holding the instrument is already such a joy! I cherish my current relationship with guitar, definitely I've never enjoyed playing so much. But there is also more to this, and particularly this morning it is clear that it is also a tool to be worked with and one that really accelarates the process. Where would I be now without it ? So this morning I study how we do things with guitar.
The Churchbells at 21.00 (The Church of the Holy Spirit)
In the evening a family time, connecting with the Circle. Tonight the Introduction to Guitar Craft Course begins.
My course aim can be expressed as a GC Aphorism: Honor necessity
The inner state that comes from honoring the aim that is right is difficult to describe for me.
Several processes are underway.
Monday, 13 October 2008
13th October - the wheel
This at-a-distance GC course with the extended team in San Cugat, Spain begins this morning for me. The declared aim is to respond to what is needed in a day-to-day life. Life is like this, it gives constant opportunities to work.
Morning sitting at 7.30
It's a very foggy day here in Tychy and it remains like this until lunch time, then the sun comes up. While walking across the city I have this regional sense of the place - I feel in the south of Poland, the place I was born and brought up. I'm not particularly attached to this place, but I can see how this environment shaped me (not going into the questions it arises!) I like this place and feel differently here.
There were many activities throughout the day that served as means of engaging with the course. Things got done as usually, but in a way there was another layer to the day.
And the reading from JGB's chapter on Decision was inspiring. It clearly links with the JotD so there was opportunity to put it straightaway into practice. I prepared with Alexander Technique lie-down.
It's 19.44 - I will be heading to Zwakowska flat now to spend the evening with my mother.
The journal is posted but the wheel keeps turning...
Morning sitting at 7.30
It's a very foggy day here in Tychy and it remains like this until lunch time, then the sun comes up. While walking across the city I have this regional sense of the place - I feel in the south of Poland, the place I was born and brought up. I'm not particularly attached to this place, but I can see how this environment shaped me (not going into the questions it arises!) I like this place and feel differently here.
There were many activities throughout the day that served as means of engaging with the course. Things got done as usually, but in a way there was another layer to the day.
And the reading from JGB's chapter on Decision was inspiring. It clearly links with the JotD so there was opportunity to put it straightaway into practice. I prepared with Alexander Technique lie-down.
It's 19.44 - I will be heading to Zwakowska flat now to spend the evening with my mother.
The journal is posted but the wheel keeps turning...
12th October - tuning in
A day off from certain commitments, also from the computer. This is good!
In the evening my mother and me visit Archikatedra pod wezwaniem Chrystusa Króla (The Archcathedral of Christ the King) in Katowice:
(Wikipedia's picture)
The music of Henryk Mikołaj Górecki brought us here tonight. Always a treat! Two pieces are performed: Totus Tuus & Ad Matrem. The evening ends with Berlioz's Te Deum
...
Tuning into the course in Spain, the team is already on.
Noticing today: Although the course hasn't formally began for me, something has already been put in motion - recalling and honoring a declared aim gives the stronger sense of being on the course, despite the physical limitations.
In the evening my mother and me visit Archikatedra pod wezwaniem Chrystusa Króla (The Archcathedral of Christ the King) in Katowice:
(Wikipedia's picture)
The music of Henryk Mikołaj Górecki brought us here tonight. Always a treat! Two pieces are performed: Totus Tuus & Ad Matrem. The evening ends with Berlioz's Te Deum
...
Tuning into the course in Spain, the team is already on.
Noticing today: Although the course hasn't formally began for me, something has already been put in motion - recalling and honoring a declared aim gives the stronger sense of being on the course, despite the physical limitations.
Saturday, 11 October 2008
11th October - at the end of the week
A busy day, so I let go of the final concert of the Silesian Guitar Autumn to have time to complete week's activities and prepare for what's coming up! The concert was very hot, reportedly - the finalists of the competition and flamenco group on the bill tonight. Next festival in two years...
M & A made a call to meet again, so we do tonight. We exchange our recent experiences from working with the exercise. It seems the most valuable information to share, as it's coming from the actual, real experience and diligent application. Very good questions come from this. And then, again there's time when there's enough talk and we practice ...
M & A made a call to meet again, so we do tonight. We exchange our recent experiences from working with the exercise. It seems the most valuable information to share, as it's coming from the actual, real experience and diligent application. Very good questions come from this. And then, again there's time when there's enough talk and we practice ...
10th October - sharing
The highlight of the day is the Guitar Meeting with Marcin in my sister's flat.
The space is ready, waiting:
There's some delay, but eventually we are ready with guitars at 18:45
Work on the right hand. Metronome at 65.
Begin with the whole notes and gradually increase the speed until the eight notes.
Division of Attention:
- alternating between quarter notes and eight notes, change every 2 bars of 4
- counting aloud
- tap feet pattern with the metronome: LRR LRR LRR LRR ...
After 45 minutes of this 10 minutes break.
Repertoire: The Eye of the Needle
Lead part: Marcin
Bass part: Jacek
After 'trying' to play the whole piece few times we move to another approach - to take a small piece of the whole part, like the first pattern consisting of 13 notes and discharge it with quality.
We practice slowly - quarter notes in BPM 60/70
We play together, and then one of us moves to off-beats. We both give it a shot.
The meeting ends at 20:50 It was good to meet and surely an opportunity to see where we are and take it from there! Two GC Aphorisms immediately spring to mind at the end of this meeting:
We begin where we are.
A quality is ungovernable by number.
-------
After this there's a meeting in the pub, planned some time ago. But tonight I just have the sense it's not the best use of my time and energy. Somehow I feel vulnerable and drained by the place and circumstances. What am I doing there ? But then, there's an act of sharing. I am grateful for this precious moment.
Reflective night, late bed ...
The space is ready, waiting:
There's some delay, but eventually we are ready with guitars at 18:45
Work on the right hand. Metronome at 65.
Begin with the whole notes and gradually increase the speed until the eight notes.
Division of Attention:
- alternating between quarter notes and eight notes, change every 2 bars of 4
- counting aloud
- tap feet pattern with the metronome: LRR LRR LRR LRR ...
After 45 minutes of this 10 minutes break.
Repertoire: The Eye of the Needle
Lead part: Marcin
Bass part: Jacek
After 'trying' to play the whole piece few times we move to another approach - to take a small piece of the whole part, like the first pattern consisting of 13 notes and discharge it with quality.
We practice slowly - quarter notes in BPM 60/70
We play together, and then one of us moves to off-beats. We both give it a shot.
The meeting ends at 20:50 It was good to meet and surely an opportunity to see where we are and take it from there! Two GC Aphorisms immediately spring to mind at the end of this meeting:
We begin where we are.
A quality is ungovernable by number.
-------
After this there's a meeting in the pub, planned some time ago. But tonight I just have the sense it's not the best use of my time and energy. Somehow I feel vulnerable and drained by the place and circumstances. What am I doing there ? But then, there's an act of sharing. I am grateful for this precious moment.
Reflective night, late bed ...
Friday, 10 October 2008
9th October - a window of opportunity
These days I don't really have to look out for things to be done, there are already enough of them waving at me to keep busy. And this morning I oversleep... and what happens? - I immediately see the consequences of this, how is this going to affect the day and other people. Darn! I've learnt these consequences can be subtle, but still very real.
So during the sitting which I practice in my sister's flat today I decide to let go of the concert tonight, that's my price! It should give me enough time to catch up.
I visit my father in the hospital, as usual in the afternoon and his recovery continues well! His eldest brother Jan is visiting from Wrocław today. I make lunch for us and my mother.
The progress with renovating our block of flats on the 'H' estate, nearly done:
Each estate is named after a letter of an alphabet. 'H' is for Honorata, a female name.
I feel slothful and bit low on energy today - usually, I find some practical work for the house a good remedy for it. Not that I do it to feel better, as it was going to be done anyway, but this ordering of the space gives something I need now.
So the free time in the evening is used for arranging the space for tomorrow's guitar meeting, JotD and others.
A highlight of the day is an evening with the old friends Agnieszka & Magda, actually it turns into late night! We traveled Ireland together in the Summer 2003 and here we meet again now, just three of us. We have very fond memories of those travels, but we don't really recall much of that time tonight (except some acknowledgments) instead we discuss the current hot issues, for example - meditation. So we talk about it, but also catch opportunity for having some actual experience! After all, it's easy to get stucked in words and intellectual ideas and this can't be a substitute for a real practice. For some of us, it was it's the first experience of this kind tonight, but for me there was a sense that we are all beginners, really.
This event was in the air for some time, it actualized and feels like a beginning of something new...
So during the sitting which I practice in my sister's flat today I decide to let go of the concert tonight, that's my price! It should give me enough time to catch up.
I visit my father in the hospital, as usual in the afternoon and his recovery continues well! His eldest brother Jan is visiting from Wrocław today. I make lunch for us and my mother.
The progress with renovating our block of flats on the 'H' estate, nearly done:
Each estate is named after a letter of an alphabet. 'H' is for Honorata, a female name.
I feel slothful and bit low on energy today - usually, I find some practical work for the house a good remedy for it. Not that I do it to feel better, as it was going to be done anyway, but this ordering of the space gives something I need now.
So the free time in the evening is used for arranging the space for tomorrow's guitar meeting, JotD and others.
A highlight of the day is an evening with the old friends Agnieszka & Magda, actually it turns into late night! We traveled Ireland together in the Summer 2003 and here we meet again now, just three of us. We have very fond memories of those travels, but we don't really recall much of that time tonight (except some acknowledgments) instead we discuss the current hot issues, for example - meditation. So we talk about it, but also catch opportunity for having some actual experience! After all, it's easy to get stucked in words and intellectual ideas and this can't be a substitute for a real practice. For some of us, it was it's the first experience of this kind tonight, but for me there was a sense that we are all beginners, really.
This event was in the air for some time, it actualized and feels like a beginning of something new...
Thursday, 9 October 2008
8th October - good space
Today there's a different tone to the day, largely determined by staying in bed for too long, so there you go - I can't say I didn't know how it works!...
I visit my sister's apartment. It has been renovated recently, but still needs some tidying up. She has actually never stayed here, but there were occasions when I made use of it. And today when I walk in I have the immediate sense that it's going to be a good place for holding our Friday guitar meeting with Marcin, it will need some work though.
At the hospital the physiotherapist shows me some basic exercises for my dad, so he'll have more of it. A good therapist there, he is in good hands. Last two days were particularly promising ...
Evening at home spend with my mum, discussing current situation, catching up.
I visit my sister's apartment. It has been renovated recently, but still needs some tidying up. She has actually never stayed here, but there were occasions when I made use of it. And today when I walk in I have the immediate sense that it's going to be a good place for holding our Friday guitar meeting with Marcin, it will need some work though.
At the hospital the physiotherapist shows me some basic exercises for my dad, so he'll have more of it. A good therapist there, he is in good hands. Last two days were particularly promising ...
Evening at home spend with my mum, discussing current situation, catching up.
Wednesday, 8 October 2008
7th October - a book
How much can happen in one day ? Today is a very intensive event, a whole event I may say, a follow-up on yesterday.
It's a very early rise by my standards. A thanks to this a lot gets done. Before leaving I undertake three basic practices and it sets the tone for the whole day, and is particularly good before visiting my father.
It's rainy outside...
The visit at the hospital goes great, my father continues to improve - huray! He falls asleep quickly, a shorter visit then, but a quality time.
I catch up with emails and stuff at J's place, there's a good internet access there, and coffee too!
After lunch I pay a visit to my primary school friend's mother to return the book I borrowed 14-15 years ago, and lost. So today I have a new copy of it and a box of chocolates with me. I explain the situation and apologize, it's not hard to imagine how shocked she is to see me, she actually completely forgot about it. I'm invited for coffee and without beating around the bush we plunge into conversation on variety of topics, immediately something clicks between us. She's as I remember her - a kind, sensitive and full of warmth woman, later on her husband comes back too. Sadly there's not much time, but another meeting is planned. What a joy, I give her a hug before saying good bye ... and leave with a book (Meister Eckhart) What a remarkable visit. Passing through one threshold opened another, new doors ...
And later in the evening we (M & J) are enjoying the fourth night of Silesian Guitar Autumn with two performances: a young Czech soloist Petra Polackova and international quartet the Guitar 4mation.
Back home, I share the impressions of the day with my mother, we make plans for tomorrow.
Soon bed but before this evening meditation followed by music: John Tavener's The Last Sleep of the Virgin, written for a string quartet and bells. The instruction for performing this contemplative piece is to play it at a barely audible level...
It's a very early rise by my standards. A thanks to this a lot gets done. Before leaving I undertake three basic practices and it sets the tone for the whole day, and is particularly good before visiting my father.
It's rainy outside...
The visit at the hospital goes great, my father continues to improve - huray! He falls asleep quickly, a shorter visit then, but a quality time.
I catch up with emails and stuff at J's place, there's a good internet access there, and coffee too!
After lunch I pay a visit to my primary school friend's mother to return the book I borrowed 14-15 years ago, and lost. So today I have a new copy of it and a box of chocolates with me. I explain the situation and apologize, it's not hard to imagine how shocked she is to see me, she actually completely forgot about it. I'm invited for coffee and without beating around the bush we plunge into conversation on variety of topics, immediately something clicks between us. She's as I remember her - a kind, sensitive and full of warmth woman, later on her husband comes back too. Sadly there's not much time, but another meeting is planned. What a joy, I give her a hug before saying good bye ... and leave with a book (Meister Eckhart) What a remarkable visit. Passing through one threshold opened another, new doors ...
And later in the evening we (M & J) are enjoying the fourth night of Silesian Guitar Autumn with two performances: a young Czech soloist Petra Polackova and international quartet the Guitar 4mation.
Back home, I share the impressions of the day with my mother, we make plans for tomorrow.
Soon bed but before this evening meditation followed by music: John Tavener's The Last Sleep of the Virgin, written for a string quartet and bells. The instruction for performing this contemplative piece is to play it at a barely audible level...
Tuesday, 7 October 2008
6th October - Pillars
A packed day. After usual morning proceedings which include getting later than planned (of course) I spend some time cleaning at home and preparing lunch for my dad. He doesn't actually have a chance to eat it, as the ladies that serve the meals in the hospital are working with a speed of light today and already gave him something! The good news is that today my father had a first physiotherapy session a gentle one to start with, so there's an improvement... Of course it was mr. Mietek who informed me about it, on the ball, as usual.
After this I visit J & G for lunch. It has this something about it, very nourishing.
In the evening take part in the AAD Circle Meeting with Extended Vienna Team. From my point of view, an invaluable contribution to what is going on here at the moment. Yet another example that the group has far wider potential then a sum of individuals working on their own. No doubts, more became possible for me. Hmmm, would I be able to convey a sense of this in words to somebody without a prior experience of this kind of work ? (for example in GC context) - I don't think so.
A good day with an opportunity to engage with the Pillars of Guitar Craft (except the Performance).
After this I visit J & G for lunch. It has this something about it, very nourishing.
In the evening take part in the AAD Circle Meeting with Extended Vienna Team. From my point of view, an invaluable contribution to what is going on here at the moment. Yet another example that the group has far wider potential then a sum of individuals working on their own. No doubts, more became possible for me. Hmmm, would I be able to convey a sense of this in words to somebody without a prior experience of this kind of work ? (for example in GC context) - I don't think so.
A good day with an opportunity to engage with the Pillars of Guitar Craft (except the Performance).
Sunday, 5 October 2008
5th October - a treat
Today our family from Jaworzno visited. My uncle (my brother was one of nine, with 4 brothers and 4 sisters), aunt and their granddaughter are here. For me it's an opportunity to meet my cousin's elder daughter Ania for the first time! And she's already 15. How amazing is this, I wonder. It's my day of break from the hospital visit and while my mother and others are there I work in the kitchen and clean. So a family time, that's how our afternoon passes by.
And in the evening my mother and me go for the second night of the Silesian Guitar Autumn. Tonight it's the recital of a Spanish guitarist Ricardo Gallen.
The repertoire tonight is:
Lenox Berkeley - Sonatina
Manuel Maria Ponce - Sonata III
Leo Brouwer - Sonata
William Walton - Five Bagatelles
and a J.S.Bach's piece requested this morning by the artistic director of the festival, the Suite BWV 997 was chosen.
Superb! We enjoy the evening, and the guitarist: modest, humble and no self-expression.
I browsed through my past posting on this blog and it gave a better sense of how the things are going on: transitions, things worth remembering and following-up on, lessons to be learnt. Good to review the past weeks, but of course what is here and now counts most. A very useful exercise indeed this journalizing.
Preparing for a next week now ...
And in the evening my mother and me go for the second night of the Silesian Guitar Autumn. Tonight it's the recital of a Spanish guitarist Ricardo Gallen.
The repertoire tonight is:
Lenox Berkeley - Sonatina
Manuel Maria Ponce - Sonata III
Leo Brouwer - Sonata
William Walton - Five Bagatelles
and a J.S.Bach's piece requested this morning by the artistic director of the festival, the Suite BWV 997 was chosen.
Superb! We enjoy the evening, and the guitarist: modest, humble and no self-expression.
I browsed through my past posting on this blog and it gave a better sense of how the things are going on: transitions, things worth remembering and following-up on, lessons to be learnt. Good to review the past weeks, but of course what is here and now counts most. A very useful exercise indeed this journalizing.
Preparing for a next week now ...
4th October - Banging
An ilness has been knocking at my door over the past few days and today it's more like a banging. Most of the day spent with a headache, but throat is a bit better than yesterday. A weekend in 'off-mode'...
Today the 12th Silesian Guitar Autumn festival commences. One of those events that Tychy is famous for, well, there's also AUKSO string orchestra (that actually performs tonight), FIAT factory and TYSKIE brewery that our city can be associated with. My mother won an invatiation for two for all 8 festival events so it's quite a treat. So tonight we are attending the opening night with a friend M. There's Jurgen Hubscher group from Switzerland, very entartaining ensamble, it makes us laugh many times! After the break the orchestra performs Divertimento by Bartok, and then there's Concierto del Sur by Manuel Ponce. Afterwards we walk to my place with M. so she can say hello to my mum and join in for the light dinner and some cake - excellent evening!
The internet access is not very good these days, but at least there's some...
Today the 12th Silesian Guitar Autumn festival commences. One of those events that Tychy is famous for, well, there's also AUKSO string orchestra (that actually performs tonight), FIAT factory and TYSKIE brewery that our city can be associated with. My mother won an invatiation for two for all 8 festival events so it's quite a treat. So tonight we are attending the opening night with a friend M. There's Jurgen Hubscher group from Switzerland, very entartaining ensamble, it makes us laugh many times! After the break the orchestra performs Divertimento by Bartok, and then there's Concierto del Sur by Manuel Ponce. Afterwards we walk to my place with M. so she can say hello to my mum and join in for the light dinner and some cake - excellent evening!
The internet access is not very good these days, but at least there's some...
3rd October - Knocking
Morning: go shopping.
Early afternoon: visit father in the hospital.
Late afternoon: meet old friend.
Evening: visit a contemplative group meeting in Katowice.
Late evening: catching up with my mum, emails...
----
From the newsletter arrived recently:
The original Tai Chi Chuan Masters were…
Happy and healthy
Able to defend themselves effectively
Wise and compassionate.
So why today do we mostly see people ‘dancing’ tai chi in the parks, and not acquiring the benefits above?
Has the essence been lost?
... I guess it did not only happen to this Teaching ...
Early afternoon: visit father in the hospital.
Late afternoon: meet old friend.
Evening: visit a contemplative group meeting in Katowice.
Late evening: catching up with my mum, emails...
----
From the newsletter arrived recently:
The original Tai Chi Chuan Masters were…
Happy and healthy
Able to defend themselves effectively
Wise and compassionate.
So why today do we mostly see people ‘dancing’ tai chi in the parks, and not acquiring the benefits above?
Has the essence been lost?
... I guess it did not only happen to this Teaching ...
Thursday, 2 October 2008
2nd October - Friends
The Sun is rising:
The talk on the phone this morning made a huge difference. I'm more relaxed and the sense of humour came back. A fresh beginning!
Make some pancakakes with twaróg and then leave...
The leaves turned into many colors, the sign of Autumn, my favourite time of the year in Poland:
Good visit to my father in the afternoon. We already made friends with some other people staying there and their familiies coming regularly. So the relationship is good, which proves useful, especially when it is a relationship with Pan Mietek - invaluable sourse of information! He's like a neighbour that knows everything, but in a good sense. He has good intentions and is very well oriented about goings-on here, I actually prefer to ask him about certain things than some of the staff...
After two hours my father dozes off peacefully and I leave.
It feels 'strange' to exercise the Job of the Day at my home/flat. Surely it's very informative and in a way, a wonderful opportunity.
Another visit to the hospital in the evening. This time with Marcin. He brings some home made cheese (kwark-like again, we call it 'white cheese', or twaróg here.) for my dad. It'll be used for some goodies, like cheese cake! The footbal on the telly is on while we are there, then 19 o'clock comes - visiting time ends now. It's already very dark outside. We walk to my place and have a chat with my mother. We also have toast! Excellent evening.
A lot of catching up with emails in the evening.
The talk on the phone this morning made a huge difference. I'm more relaxed and the sense of humour came back. A fresh beginning!
Make some pancakakes with twaróg and then leave...
The leaves turned into many colors, the sign of Autumn, my favourite time of the year in Poland:
Good visit to my father in the afternoon. We already made friends with some other people staying there and their familiies coming regularly. So the relationship is good, which proves useful, especially when it is a relationship with Pan Mietek - invaluable sourse of information! He's like a neighbour that knows everything, but in a good sense. He has good intentions and is very well oriented about goings-on here, I actually prefer to ask him about certain things than some of the staff...
After two hours my father dozes off peacefully and I leave.
It feels 'strange' to exercise the Job of the Day at my home/flat. Surely it's very informative and in a way, a wonderful opportunity.
Another visit to the hospital in the evening. This time with Marcin. He brings some home made cheese (kwark-like again, we call it 'white cheese', or twaróg here.) for my dad. It'll be used for some goodies, like cheese cake! The footbal on the telly is on while we are there, then 19 o'clock comes - visiting time ends now. It's already very dark outside. We walk to my place and have a chat with my mother. We also have toast! Excellent evening.
A lot of catching up with emails in the evening.
Wednesday, 1 October 2008
1st October - Gratitude
Another day in Tychy, Poland.
It's hightlight is AAD Circle Meeting with Extended Vienna Team. The Lord's Prayer is played for my father recovering in the hospital.
There's warmth, clarity and good-will in the air, a blessing.
It's hightlight is AAD Circle Meeting with Extended Vienna Team. The Lord's Prayer is played for my father recovering in the hospital.
There's warmth, clarity and good-will in the air, a blessing.
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